Freezepops, Women, and Lampshades

My God… Hauntingly beautiful. What a cinematic achievement. It’s been such a long time since I’ve reacted to a movie in such a way. I don’t think I’ve ever been on the edge of my seat for so long; had so many moments where I cringed nervously. It was truly a sight to behold. I’m still in sheer awe. I now thoroughly regret not seeing it in theaters.

As I closed The Fountainhead and went to go shut the lights off, I felt fine. I was tired, and ready for bed. The sound of my father snoring wasn’t as bad as usual and the sound of bugs buzzing was strangely harmonic. It wasn’t until the lights went off that I felt completely and utterly alone. I’ve never had such an extreme feeling of loneliness in my entire life. It actually frightened me quite a bit. Maybe the immediate darkness that came with shutting off the lights scared me. That’s probably what brought it on. It got dark so fast. It was like a temporal shift or something. The second they shut off, it felt like everything around me ceased to exist. It was only me. And I was scared. I maneuvered over to my sleeping bag only to have the feeling increase. I stared at the black ceiling above me, and my eyes began to adjust. Slight like came in through the window above, but it couldn’t cure my feeling of solitude. This writing simply cannot bring it justice. I felt so very alone. Almost like nobody would surround me again; like all of the light in my life had gone out. I reminisced about times when I had a woman snug in my arms with her body pressed against mine. When all I smell was the fruity scent of shampoo, the steady rhythm of her breathing, and her hands clasped around mine. When that thought came to me, it stuck for about 20 minutes. I desperately wanted to have somebody next to me. I wanted to have that feeling again. I wanted to have hair pressed against my lips, feel her fingers intertwined around mine. Never have I wanted something so badly in one moment. I missed having a girl to hold at night, and I wanted one again so badly. As I turned back onto my back the thought left me, but parts continued to linger. I looked at the ceiling again, the beams of the cabin now lit up by the moonlight coming in through the windows. Utter solitude came to me again. Only this time, it was broken. It was broken by something I would not have expected. I saw a flash outside the far window. It lit up the small area around it and revealed the empty beds and cabinets. I assumed lightening and we would be getting a thunderstorm. I thought it could help me sleep. But then the flash came again, this time a bit higher. And then again, this time entirely above the window itself. I finally realized it was a firefly that had gotten in somehow. And then for some reason I smiled. I watched that firefly for a good 45 minutes. I followed it around the room, only loosing it for seconds at a time. Sometimes it would rest, other times it would rise up high, probably looking for an escape. But for some reason I cannot explain, that firefly gave me enough comfort to sleep. I guess that small glimmer of light it would emit made me realize that I wasn’t alone. I’m not really sure. But it helped.

Honestly, being a left handed guy myself, Link was always a huge hero for me. I was actually made fun of sometimes for being left handed, but playing Legend of Zelda taught me that everyone is different and even left handed people can save the world. Plus, he’s one of the only left handed heroes in video games. I’m furious he’s not left handed in Skyward Sword. No Legend of Zelda game should feature a right handed Link. I personally find it very insulting.